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HEBREWS xiii. 4. Marriage is Honourable in all.
HEBREWS xiii. 4. Marriage is Honourable in all.
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MARRIAGE being Common and Ordinary, a Discourse about it may be thought needless, and to some unpleasing;
MARRIAGE being Common and Ordinary, a Discourse about it may be Thought needless, and to Some unpleasing;
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but I do judge it neither needless nor improper.
but I do judge it neither needless nor improper.
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For it fares with Marriage as with most things common and ordinary, that tho' in themselves very valuable,
For it fares with Marriage as with most things Common and ordinary, that though in themselves very valuable,
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yet they are but little regarded;
yet they Are but little regarded;
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so that the Generality are not sensible of the Good of them, nor yet suitably thankful for the Benefit of them.
so that the Generality Are not sensible of the Good of them, nor yet suitably thankful for the Benefit of them.
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Wherefore I shall lay hold on the present Occasion to discourse of this Subject, which however common and ordinary, I believe not well understood;
Wherefore I shall lay hold on the present Occasion to discourse of this Subject, which however Common and ordinary, I believe not well understood;
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the Dignity and Importance of which are set forth in the words of St. Paul I have now read.
the Dignity and Importance of which Are Set forth in the words of Saint Paul I have now read.
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In the Original, it is only Marriage honourable in, with or among all:
In the Original, it is only Marriage honourable in, with or among all:
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so that something must be supply'd to make the Sense clear and perfect, wherefore some render it by way of an Affirmative Proposition,
so that something must be supplied to make the Sense clear and perfect, Wherefore Some render it by Way of an Affirmative Proposition,
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as in our Translation, whereby the Dignity of Marriage is asserted;
as in our translation, whereby the Dignity of Marriage is asserted;
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others turn it into a Precept, requiring all to hold Matrimony honourable, as if it should be, Let Marriage be honourable.
Others turn it into a Precept, requiring all to hold Matrimony honourable, as if it should be, Let Marriage be honourable.
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It is not material whether it be taken the one or the other way;
It is not material whither it be taken the one or the other Way;
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for if it be a Duty to hold Marriage honourable, then it is so, because it is in it self honourable;
for if it be a Duty to hold Marriage honourable, then it is so, Because it is in it self honourable;
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and if marriage be by Nature, or by Virtue of its Ends and Uses honourable,
and if marriage be by Nature, or by Virtue of its Ends and Uses honourable,
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then it is the Duty of all to honour it, and to have it in great Esteem:
then it is the Duty of all to honour it, and to have it in great Esteem:
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So whether the Text be an Affirmative Proposition or a Precept, it establisheth the Dignity and Importance of Marriage;
So whither the Text be an Affirmative Proposition or a Precept, it Establisheth the Dignity and Importance of Marriage;
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for whatever is or should be esteem'd honourable, must be suppos'd excellent in its Nature, and important in its Effects and Consequences.
for whatever is or should be esteemed honourable, must be supposed excellent in its Nature, and important in its Effects and Consequences.
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In handling this matter, I shall do Two Things:
In handling this matter, I shall do Two Things:
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First, I shall give some Reasons why Marriage should be had in great Honour and Esteem.First, I shall give Some Reasons why Marriage should be had in great Honour and Esteem.
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Secondly, I shall shew what is incumbent on those who enter into this state of Life, that they may reap the Good, Benefit, and Comfort of it.Secondly, I shall show what is incumbent on those who enter into this state of Life, that they may reap the Good, Benefit, and Comfort of it.
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1. First, Of the Reasons why Marriage should be had in great Honour and Esteem. To mention all, and to enlarge upon them, would take up too much time;
1. First, Of the Reasons why Marriage should be had in great Honour and Esteem. To mention all, and to enlarge upon them, would take up too much time;
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therefore I shall only name some. And first, Marriage should be held honourable, because it is an ancient and universal Custom.
Therefore I shall only name Some. And First, Marriage should be held honourable, Because it is an ancient and universal Custom.
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Antiquity is venerable, and it is both just and usual, to regard with Veneration those Things that are of long standing.
Antiquity is venerable, and it is both just and usual, to regard with Veneration those Things that Are of long standing.
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Indeed Time doth not change the Nature of Things, nor can it make that which is evil ever to be good;
Indeed Time does not change the Nature of Things, nor can it make that which is evil ever to be good;
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but both good and innocent Things are deservedly more respected, as they are the older: Now marriage is as ancient as any thing can be.
but both good and innocent Things Are deservedly more respected, as they Are the older: Now marriage is as ancient as any thing can be.
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'Twas from the beginning, and commenc'd with Mankind it self.
'Twas from the beginning, and commenced with Mankind it self.
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If the Calculation of some may be believ'd, Man was married on the very day he was made,
If the Calculation of Some may be believed, Man was married on the very day he was made,
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and when he was but some few hours old: And what was so early begun, has ever since continued.
and when he was but Some few hours old: And what was so early begun, has ever since continued.
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Whithersoever Men Transported themselves, they carried the Custom; so that there never was any Nation or People which did not observe it.
Whithersoever Men Transported themselves, they carried the Custom; so that there never was any nation or People which did not observe it.
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The most Barbarous do not live like Beasts promiscuously;
The most Barbarous doe not live like Beasts promiscuously;
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and even where unlawful Liberties were common and allowed, yet Marriage was preferr'd, and accounted honourable.
and even where unlawful Liberties were Common and allowed, yet Marriage was preferred, and accounted honourable.
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Where-ever Knowledge, Policy and good Government took place, and were cultivated, Marriage was distinguish'd with particular marks of Honour.
Wherever Knowledge, Policy and good Government took place, and were cultivated, Marriage was distinguished with particular marks of Honour.
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Among the Romans; married Persons had divers Privileges above others, until the days of Constantine, who abolish'd those Laws, to gratifie some who betook themselves to a Celibate State, from a mistaken Notion which then prevail'd, that it was more proper for the Exercise of Religion, which was the Beginning of that Corruption and Apostacy, foretold by the Apostle, 1 Tim. iv. 1. The Lacedemonians held marriage so proper and necessary,
Among the Romans; married Persons had diverse Privileges above Others, until the days of Constantine, who abolished those Laws, to gratify Some who betook themselves to a Celibate State, from a mistaken Notion which then prevailed, that it was more proper for the Exercise of Religion, which was the Beginning of that Corruption and Apostasy, foretold by the Apostle, 1 Tim. iv. 1. The Lacedaemonians held marriage so proper and necessary,
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and them who despis'd it so unreasonable and dangerous, that they appointed a Fine both for them who married not at all,
and them who despised it so unreasonable and dangerous, that they appointed a Fine both for them who married not At all,
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and for them who were late or long a marrying.
and for them who were late or long a marrying.
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How honourable Marriage was, is evident from the Solemnities every where used at the entring into it;
How honourable Marriage was, is evident from the Solemnities every where used At the entering into it;
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for this was and is a publick Declaration that it was an honourable State, and that they were worthy of Honour who enter'd into it.
for this was and is a public Declaration that it was an honourable State, and that they were worthy of Honour who entered into it.
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Hence came the Saying, That every one had Three Days of chief Honour;
Hence Come the Saying, That every one had Three Days of chief Honour;
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the Day of one's Birth, the Day of Marriage, and the Day of Death or Burying.
the Day of one's Birth, the Day of Marriage, and the Day of Death or Burying.
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2. But, Secondly: Christians have a better Precedent for honouring Marriage, than the Example of Men and Nations.
2. But, Secondly: Christians have a better Precedent for honouring Marriage, than the Exampl of Men and nations.
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We have the Example of Christ, the Eternal Son of God, whose Example outweighs the Authority and Practice of all others in the World.
We have the Exampl of christ, the Eternal Son of God, whose Exampl outweighs the authority and Practice of all Others in the World.
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Indeed he Himself did not marry, nor could He, because a marriage with any single Person on Earth could not suit with his Dignity,
Indeed he Himself did not marry, nor could He, Because a marriage with any single Person on Earth could not suit with his Dignity,
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nor the end of his Coming to the World: But he would be born of a Woman, join'd in lawful Wedlock;
nor the end of his Coming to the World: But he would be born of a Woman, joined in lawful Wedlock;
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and He gave the first Manifestation of his Glory at a marriage in Cana of Galilee, where he turned Water into Wine;
and He gave the First Manifestation of his Glory At a marriage in Cana of Galilee, where he turned Water into Wine;
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not for the simple Ostentation of his own Power, but also to contribute to that innocent Joy, which was suitable to that Occasion.
not for the simple Ostentation of his own Power, but also to contribute to that innocent Joy, which was suitable to that Occasion.
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This He would not have done, if marriage was either unlawful or trivial, and not worthy of all Honour.
This He would not have done, if marriage was either unlawful or trivial, and not worthy of all Honour.
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And as his shewing Himself thus first at a Marriage, was not Accidental or Occasional, but Choice;
And as his showing Himself thus First At a Marriage, was not Accidental or Occasional, but Choice;
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so he chose to do it, that he might set forth the Honourableness of this State;
so he chosen to do it, that he might Set forth the Honorableness of this State;
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foreseeing that some false Spirits would arise to discredit and disparage marriage:
Foreseeing that Some false Spirits would arise to discredit and disparage marriage:
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And certainly, whoever speak against it, whoever represent it as unlawful, or as mean and unbecoming a good or wise Man,
And Certainly, whoever speak against it, whoever represent it as unlawful, or as mean and unbecoming a good or wise Man,
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or the aim or study of Perfection; I say, whoever do so, do thereby shew that they are not of God. For,
or the aim or study of Perfection; I say, whoever do so, do thereby show that they Are not of God. For,
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3. Thirdly: Marriage is a Divine Institution. God is the Author of it. 'Twas no Invention of Man;
3. Thirdly: Marriage is a Divine Institution. God is the Author of it. 'Twas no Invention of Man;
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nor were they led into it by Policy, Necessity or Experience, as into many other common Customs,
nor were they led into it by Policy, Necessity or Experience, as into many other Common Customs,
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but God himself from the Beginning did ordain it.
but God himself from the Beginning did ordain it.
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He at the first made Man male and female, and joined them together, that the two might become one Fl•sh, for an Example to others that should follow.
He At the First made Man male and female, and joined them together, that the two might become one Fl•sh, for an Exampl to Others that should follow.
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He commanded and ordained them to multiply and bring forth their Kind;
He commanded and ordained them to multiply and bring forth their Kind;
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but only in the State of Wedlock, and by the Imitation of that Example which he had set them in the first Man and Woman.
but only in the State of Wedlock, and by the Imitation of that Exampl which he had Set them in the First Man and Woman.
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If therefore all Divine Ordinances and Institutions should be honoured for God's sake, so should marriage;
If Therefore all Divine Ordinances and Institutions should be honoured for God's sake, so should marriage;
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nor can any speak dishonourably of it, without blaspheming God, and reflecting on either his Authority or Wisdom.
nor can any speak dishonourably of it, without blaspheming God, and reflecting on either his authority or Wisdom.
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4. Fourthly: The time when marriage was instituted, adds to the Honour of it.
4. Fourthly: The time when marriage was instituted, adds to the Honour of it.
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This was before the Fall, in the State of Innocence, while Man was in his Uprightness,
This was before the Fallen, in the State of Innocence, while Man was in his Uprightness,
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as he came from the Hands of God;
as he Come from the Hands of God;
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which proves Marriage to be suitable to the greatest Perfection and Purity of this present Life.
which Proves Marriage to be suitable to the greatest Perfection and Purity of this present Life.
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It came not as a Remedy to After-Corruption;
It Come not as a Remedy to After-Corruption;
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'twas not prescribed to avoid greater Inconveniencies, but the Wisdom of God saw it agreeable to a Paradise, to the purest and most perfect Condition of humane Life:
'twas not prescribed to avoid greater Inconveniences, but the Wisdom of God saw it agreeable to a Paradise, to the Purest and most perfect Condition of humane Life:
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Therefore they talk falsly who make this State inconsistent with Religion;
Therefore they talk falsely who make this State inconsistent with Religion;
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and they are weak and ignorant Persons, who pretend that it is a clog or hindrance to their Virtue and Devotion;
and they Are weak and ignorant Persons, who pretend that it is a clog or hindrance to their Virtue and Devotion;
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yea, even to the Perfection of them.
yea, even to the Perfection of them.
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Indeed we read of some, who when they were called to the Divine Feast, excused themselves because they were married:
Indeed we read of Some, who when they were called to the Divine Feast, excused themselves Because they were married:
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I have married a Wife, and cannot come; I have married a Wife, and cannot come;
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but this was only a Pretext to cover their Aversion and Unwillingness, for if they had valued the mercy of the Call,
but this was only a Pretext to cover their Aversion and Unwillingness, for if they had valued the mercy of the Call,
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and been willing to embrace it, their marriage needed not to have hindred them, they would have come and brought their Wives with them.
and been willing to embrace it, their marriage needed not to have hindered them, they would have come and brought their Wives with them.
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Turn over the History of all the Celibates from the beginning, can any be shewed more just and upright than Noah, more constant in his Faith and Obedience than Abraham, more holy and devout than Job? and yet they,
Turn over the History of all the Celibates from the beginning, can any be showed more just and upright than Noah, more constant in his Faith and obedience than Abraham, more holy and devout than Job? and yet they,
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as all the other Scripture Worthies, were married, and some of them but very indifferently too.
as all the other Scripture Worthies, were married, and Some of them but very indifferently too.
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Indeed there are Temptations and Incumbrances in a married State, and so there are in a single Life.
Indeed there Are Temptations and Encumbrances in a married State, and so there Are in a single Life.
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God may be served in the one as well as the other;
God may be served in the one as well as the other;
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and who excuse themselves on the account of either, do but declare that they have not a real mind to it.
and who excuse themselves on the account of either, do but declare that they have not a real mind to it.
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Finally, Marriage ought to be held most honourable, for the important End of it, and the good Effects which were intended by it,
Finally, Marriage ought to be held most honourable, for the important End of it, and the good Effects which were intended by it,
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and which will follow those who seek and study them aright.
and which will follow those who seek and study them aright.
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When God had finished the Creation, He viewed all his Works, and saw them all very good:
When God had finished the Creation, He viewed all his Works, and saw them all very good:
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Now Woman was included in these Works, therefore she also was found good, and consequently marriage is very good and useful;
Now Woman was included in these Works, Therefore she also was found good, and consequently marriage is very good and useful;
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for the Woman was created for that end.
for the Woman was created for that end.
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As all God's Works are good, so are all his Ordinances and Institutions, and particularly this of Marriage.
As all God's Works Are good, so Are all his Ordinances and Institutions, and particularly this of Marriage.
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Therefore, saith Solomon, Whosever findeth a Wife, findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord;
Therefore, Says Solomon, Whosever finds a Wife, finds a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord;
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meaning, as he explains himself in other places, a prudent, virtuous Wife; one that deserves that Honour, and answers the Character suitable to it.
meaning, as he explains himself in other places, a prudent, virtuous Wife; one that deserves that Honour, and answers the Character suitable to it.
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God by ordaining marriage, intended the Good both of private Persons and the Publick;
God by ordaining marriage, intended the Good both of private Persons and the Public;
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because it was most agreeable to our Nature, and did naturally tend to further the Happiness of all in this present Life.
Because it was most agreeable to our Nature, and did naturally tend to further the Happiness of all in this present Life.
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Indeed marriage is a Yoke, which once taken on, cannot be put off till Death;
Indeed marriage is a Yoke, which once taken on, cannot be put off till Death;
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or that which is worse than Death, I mean the heinous Sin and Guilt of one or other of the Parties:
or that which is Worse than Death, I mean the heinous since and Gilded of one or other of the Parties:
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but it is a profitable Yoke, and it may be made easie too, if Persons have the Understanding to use it aright.
but it is a profitable Yoke, and it may be made easy too, if Persons have the Understanding to use it aright.
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I. First, Marriage bringeth great Advantage to private Persons, by securing them of a constant, intimate and familiar Friend.
I First, Marriage brings great Advantage to private Persons, by securing them of a constant, intimate and familiar Friend.
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Society and Friendship are the Life of Life. Nothing is more agreeable to our Nature, nothing more desirable.
Society and Friendship Are the Life of Life. Nothing is more agreeable to our Nature, nothing more desirable.
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It is as natural for Man to crave them, as for the Sparks to fly upward.
It is as natural for Man to crave them, as for the Sparks to fly upward.
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Hence Aristotle observed, that what delighted in solitariness, must be either above or below a Man;
Hence Aristotle observed, that what delighted in solitariness, must be either above or below a Man;
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that is, either a God or a Beast: A God, because Self-sufficient;
that is, either a God or a Beast: A God, Because Self-sufficient;
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or a Beast, without Sense or Understanding, and so unable to communicate it self, as insensible of the Benefit of mutual Communication:
or a Beast, without Sense or Understanding, and so unable to communicate it self, as insensible of the Benefit of mutual Communication:
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But as most Beasts, except the Savage Kind, even love to herd together;
But as most Beasts, except the Savage Kind, even love to heard together;
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so if this Philsopher had had that Light of Revelation which we are bless'd with, he would have found that the Godhead is not solitary,
so if this Philosopher had had that Light of Revelation which we Are blessed with, he would have found that the Godhead is not solitary,
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though Unity be one of its Essential Attributes.
though Unity be one of its Essential Attributes.
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Our Religion shews us Three Persons in the Godhead, which are one in Nature, and intimately united both in their Counsels and in the Execution of them, which makes the Felicity of the Godhead equal to the Perfection of its Nature, both of them Incomprehensible and Infinite.
Our Religion shows us Three Persons in the Godhead, which Are one in Nature, and intimately united both in their Counsels and in the Execution of them, which makes the Felicity of the Godhead equal to the Perfection of its Nature, both of them Incomprehensible and Infinite.
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The more Noble any Being is, the more it affects Society and Fellowship.
The more Noble any Being is, the more it affects Society and Fellowship.
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Because God is infinitely good, He created other Beings to partake of Himself, and by that participation to declare his Glory.
Because God is infinitely good, He created other Beings to partake of Himself, and by that participation to declare his Glory.
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Man was made after the Image of God, and consequently it must be natural to Man to seek the Fellowship of others that are after his own likeness.
Man was made After the Image of God, and consequently it must be natural to Man to seek the Fellowship of Others that Are After his own likeness.
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When God made Man an consider'd him, He saw 'twas not good for him to be alone,
When God made Man an considered him, He saw 'twas not good for him to be alone,
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and for that cause proceeded to make Woman, to be a Help meet for Man. The Dominion of the World and over all Creatures, would not have given unto Man full Satisfaction,
and for that cause proceeded to make Woman, to be a Help meet for Man. The Dominion of the World and over all Creatures, would not have given unto Man full Satisfaction,
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if he had been left alone without such a Companion.
if he had been left alone without such a Companion.
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Let outward Circumstances be never so good, there is but half Contentment without a Friend and Copartner.
Let outward circumstances be never so good, there is but half Contentment without a Friend and Copartner.
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'Tis true, there is and may be a dear, a sweet and intimate Friendship between one Man and another,
It's true, there is and may be a dear, a sweet and intimate Friendship between one Man and Another,
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but the Pleasure and Benefit of such a Friendship cannot be always enjoy'd.
but the Pleasure and Benefit of such a Friendship cannot be always enjoyed.
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Duty and Interest often separate them, whereas marriage, by these very Ties of Duty and Interest, makes one sure of a faithful, loving and inseparable Friend at all Times,
Duty and Interest often separate them, whereas marriage, by these very Ties of Duty and Interest, makes one sure of a faithful, loving and inseparable Friend At all Times,
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and in all Circumstances, whether better or worse.
and in all circumstances, whither better or Worse.
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A Man must leave Father and Mother, and cleave to his Wife, and so must the Wife do to her Husband.
A Man must leave Father and Mother, and cleave to his Wife, and so must the Wife do to her Husband.
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Besides, God has so framed the Nature of Woman, and given her such particular Endowments, as render her Conversation more grateful and agreeable.
Beside, God has so framed the Nature of Woman, and given her such particular Endowments, as render her Conversation more grateful and agreeable.
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The Friendship of a Man may chance to be more instructive, and may sometimes have the preference for Counsel and Advice;
The Friendship of a Man may chance to be more instructive, and may sometime have the preference for Counsel and advice;
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but a good Woman has more Charms to divert the Fancy, to ease the Spirit, and to alleviate the Mind.
but a good Woman has more Charms to divert the Fancy, to ease the Spirit, and to alleviate the Mind.
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It is a true and notable Saying of the Son of Syrach, Eccles. xl. 23. A Friend and Companion never meet amiss;
It is a true and notable Saying of the Son of Sirach, Eccles. xl. 23. A Friend and Companion never meet amiss;
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but above both is a Wife with her Husband. but above both is a Wife with her Husband.
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The Sweetness and Delicacy of her Temper is proper to file off that Roughness, which is ready to grow upon the Nature of Man. Therefore commonly single Persons are more morose and surly,
The Sweetness and Delicacy of her Temper is proper to file off that Roughness, which is ready to grow upon the Nature of Man. Therefore commonly single Persons Are more morose and surly,
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and less conversible, than those who are well married especially if naturally peevish and melancholly; for these grow upon Men by the lonesomness of a single Life.
and less conversible, than those who Are well married especially if naturally peevish and melancholy; for these grow upon Men by the lonesomness of a single Life.
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Indeed an ill Woman frets the Spirit and crushes the Mind;
Indeed an ill Woman frets the Spirit and crushes the Mind;
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but an excellent Wife is to her Husband as David 's Harp to Saul, she charms away the evil Spirit of Melancholy, which is apt to seize men by the Vexation of Business, the Incumbrances of Affairs,
but an excellent Wife is to her Husband as David is Harp to Saul, she charms away the evil Spirit of Melancholy, which is apt to seize men by the Vexation of Business, the Encumbrances of Affairs,
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and the Impertinencies of the World. Again:
and the Impertinencies of the World. Again:
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Marriage is of great Advantage to private Persons, because of the mutual help which they give to each other:
Marriage is of great Advantage to private Persons, Because of the mutual help which they give to each other:
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God did not intend that the Woman should be a Clog, or Burden, or Incumbrance to a Man;
God did not intend that the Woman should be a Clog, or Burden, or Encumbrance to a Man;
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He did not ordain her to live idlely or sumptuously on the Sweat of his Face;
He did not ordain her to live idly or sumptuously on the Sweat of his Face;
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but he made her to be a Help unto him;
but he made her to be a Help unto him;
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that is, to be both a Companion and Assistant, to partake of his Labours, to bear half of his Burden,
that is, to be both a Companion and Assistant, to partake of his Labours, to bear half of his Burden,
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as well as to share of his Happiness.
as well as to share of his Happiness.
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He that has a prudent Wife, has double the Hands, the Eyes, the Ears and the Feet of a single Person.
He that has a prudent Wife, has double the Hands, the Eyes, the Ears and the Feet of a single Person.
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He can be at Home and Abroad at once; She can manage the Affairs of the House, while he is transacting Business Abroad;
He can be At Home and Abroad At once; She can manage the Affairs of the House, while he is transacting Business Abroad;
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and so is in a better way of Thriving, of promoting the end of Life, and of providing for the Necessities and Comforts of it.
and so is in a better Way of Thriving, of promoting the end of Life, and of providing for the Necessities and Comforts of it.
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Some may think that all this may be as well done by Servants;
some may think that all this may be as well done by Servants;
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but a little Reflection on Experience shew it a mistake, for though great Wages may make a Servant faithful, they cannot give that Concernment which a Wife hath.
but a little Reflection on Experience show it a mistake, for though great Wages may make a Servant faithful, they cannot give that Concernment which a Wife hath.
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Wherefore the wise Author I last quoted, saith, Blessed is the Man that hath a virtuous Wife,
Wherefore the wise Author I last quoted, Says, Blessed is the Man that hath a virtuous Wife,
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for the number of his Days shall bedouble.
for the number of his Days shall bedouble.
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A virtuous Woman rejoyceth her Husband, and he shall fulfil the Years of his Life in peace.
A virtuous Woman Rejoiceth her Husband, and he shall fulfil the years of his Life in peace.
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A good Wife is a good portion, which shall be given in the portion of them that fear the Lord.
A good Wife is a good portion, which shall be given in the portion of them that Fear the Lord.
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The Grace of a Wife delighteth her Husband, and her Discretion will fat his Bones.
The Grace of a Wife delights her Husband, and her Discretion will fat his Bones.
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A silent and loving Woman is a gift of the Lord, and there is nothing so much worth to a mind well instructed.
A silent and loving Woman is a gift of the Lord, and there is nothing so much worth to a mind well instructed.
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A modest and faithful Woman is a double Grace, and her continent mind cannot be valued.
A modest and faithful Woman is a double Grace, and her continent mind cannot be valued.
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As the Sun when it riseth in the high Heaven, so is the Beauty of a Wife in the ordering of her House.
As the Sun when it Riseth in the high Heaven, so is the Beauty of a Wife in the ordering of her House.
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Again he saith, The Beauty of a Woman cheareth the Countenance, and a Man loveth nothing better;Again he Says, The Beauty of a Woman Cheereth the Countenance, and a Man loves nothing better;
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if there be kindness, meekness and comfort in her Tongue, then is not her Husband like other Men.
if there be kindness, meekness and Comfort in her Tongue, then is not her Husband like other Men.
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He that getteth a Wife, beginneth a possession, a help like unto himself, and a pillar of Rest. Eccles. xxvi. and xxxvii.
He that gets a Wife, begins a possession, a help like unto himself, and a pillar of Rest. Eccles. xxvi. and xxxvii.
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Thus private Persons have great Advantage by marriage. In the next place, the Publick receiveth no less Profit by it.
Thus private Persons have great Advantage by marriage. In the next place, the Public receives no less Profit by it.
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For by this means Children are multiplied, and the People increased; which is the Strength, Security and Glory of a State.
For by this means Children Are multiplied, and the People increased; which is the Strength, Security and Glory of a State.
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Unlawful Liberties without Wedlock, add little to the Increase of People;
Unlawful Liberties without Wedlock, add little to the Increase of People;
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nor even in those Countries where pluralities of Wives are allowed, is it common and usual to have so many Children,
nor even in those Countries where pluralities of Wives Are allowed, is it Common and usual to have so many Children,
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as with us by one Man and one Woman.
as with us by one Man and one Woman.
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So marriage, according to its first Institution is more for the multiplication of Mankind, than any other way.
So marriage, according to its First Institution is more for the multiplication of Mankind, than any other Way.
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And as it tendeth to the Increase of People, which is for the good of the Publick,
And as it tendeth to the Increase of People, which is for the good of the Public,
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so it is the best Security of a good Education to them that are born, which is no less for the publick Good.
so it is the best Security of a good Education to them that Are born, which is no less for the public Good.
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If Children were not taken care of, they could not live to be Men;
If Children were not taken care of, they could not live to be Men;
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and if they were not well educated and train'd up to some Art or Profession, they would be of little use when grown up;
and if they were not well educated and trained up to Some Art or Profession, they would be of little use when grown up;
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both which would be very much neglected, if Children were not born as now in lawful Wedlock.
both which would be very much neglected, if Children were not born as now in lawful Wedlock.
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Women perhaps might have some regard to the Fruit of their Womb, but Men would take little thought of those, whom they knew not whether they were their own.
Women perhaps might have Some regard to the Fruit of their Womb, but Men would take little Thought of those, whom they knew not whither they were their own.
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But as it is now, Parents love their Children, and lay themselves out to provide for them, to educate them well, and to make them happy;
But as it is now, Parents love their Children, and lay themselves out to provide for them, to educate them well, and to make them happy;
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all which turneth to the Advantage of the Publick.
all which turns to the Advantage of the Public.
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It was very inadvertently said of a Great Man, That Wives and Children were Impediments to great Enterprises of either Virtue or Mischief,
It was very inadvertently said of a Great Man, That Wives and Children were Impediments to great Enterprises of either Virtue or Mischief,
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and that the best Works, and of greatest Merit to the Publick, were perform'd by unmarried or Childless Men: and that the best Works, and of greatest Merit to the Public, were performed by unmarried or Childless Men:
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For the very contrary may be proved from History.
For the very contrary may be proved from History.
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And who can be thought more concerned for the Publick, than they who are to leave with it their Darlings,
And who can be Thought more concerned for the Public, than they who Are to leave with it their Darlings,
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and the Pledges of their Affection? Commonly single Persons look no further than their own Times,
and the Pledges of their Affection? Commonly single Persons look no further than their own Times,
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but those who are married, extend their Thoughts and Care to Posterity.
but those who Are married, extend their Thoughts and Care to Posterity.
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Nor are they who are married and have Children, more obnoxious to Bribery, and perverting of publick Justice;
Nor Are they who Are married and have Children, more obnoxious to Bribery, and perverting of public justice;
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for a Servant may be worse than a Wife, and do often abuse the Master's Ear more.
for a Servant may be Worse than a Wife, and do often abuse the Masters Ear more.
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Nor are Wife and Children a hindrance to Charitable Works;
Nor Are Wife and Children a hindrance to Charitable Works;
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which is one pretended Reason why marriage is forbidden the Clergy in the Church of Rome; for Covetousness and Selfishness prevail among them that are not married,
which is one pretended Reason why marriage is forbidden the Clergy in the Church of Room; for Covetousness and Selfishness prevail among them that Are not married,
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as much as with those that are.
as much as with those that Are.
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There are as many of the one as of the other, stingy, narrow-soul'd, and hardhearted, both to themselves and others, neither given to good Works.
There Are as many of the one as of the other, stingy, Narrowsouled, and hardhearted, both to themselves and Others, neither given to good Works.
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Indeed, those that have no Children should give more as they are more able;
Indeed, those that have no Children should give more as they Are more able;
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but those that have Children, have yet a greater Obligation to be Charitable, even that they may secure a Blessing to their Children, which may and will be more steadable,
but those that have Children, have yet a greater Obligation to be Charitable, even that they may secure a Blessing to their Children, which may and will be more steadable,
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than a visible Inheritance, which often slippeth away:
than a visible Inheritance, which often slippeth away:
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For, saith David, I have been young and now am old, yet have I not seen the Righteous, that is, the merciful Man, forsaken, not his Seed begging Bread;
For, Says David, I have been young and now am old, yet have I not seen the Righteous, that is, the merciful Man, forsaken, not his Seed begging Bred;
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he is ever merciful and lendeth, and his Seed is blessed, Psal. xxxvii. 25. Thus you see, that there are a great many Reasons,he is ever merciful and dares, and his Seed is blessed, Psalm xxxvii. 25. Thus you see, that there Are a great many Reasons,
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why marriage should be honourable among all, as is asserted or injoin'd in the Text. I proceed to II. The other Thing proposed;
why marriage should be honourable among all, as is asserted or enjoined in the Text. I proceed to II The other Thing proposed;
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which is to shew, What is Incumbent on those who enter a married State, to the end that they may reap the Good, Benefit and Comfort of it.
which is to show, What is Incumbent on those who enter a married State, to the end that they may reap the Good, Benefit and Comfort of it.
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This is important and necessary, but very little considered; and that is the reason why those Advantages of Marriage are not so common.
This is important and necessary, but very little considered; and that is the reason why those Advantages of Marriage Are not so Common.
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Marriage is not a Physical but a Moral Cause of them, they follow not joining of Hands necessarily, as the Fire burneth;
Marriage is not a Physical but a Moral Cause of them, they follow not joining of Hands necessarily, as the Fire burns;
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or as Meat nourisheth, which happens whether we think of them or not:
or as Meat Nourishes, which happens whither we think of them or not:
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But how good soever a married State be, the Benefit and Comfort of it depend on the wise Behaviour of those who enter into it.
But how good soever a married State be, the Benefit and Comfort of it depend on the wise Behaviour of those who enter into it.
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If they remember their Obligation, and study their Duty, they shall be happy; but otherwise, both Shame and Misery will attend them.
If they Remember their Obligation, and study their Duty, they shall be happy; but otherwise, both Shame and Misery will attend them.
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There are indeed many unhappy Marriages in the World;
There Are indeed many unhappy Marriages in the World;
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there are very many rendred miserable by coming into this State of Life, but it is their own Fault,
there Are very many rendered miserable by coming into this State of Life, but it is their own Fault,
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because they engag'd unadvisedly, nor mind what such Engagements require of them. They run into this state for some present Satisfaction or Advantage;
Because they engaged unadvisedly, nor mind what such Engagements require of them. They run into this state for Some present Satisfaction or Advantage;
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and having got that, they become uneasie with the perpetual Tie. They do not consider the Necessity of yielding to one another;
and having god that, they become uneasy with the perpetual Tie. They do not Consider the Necessity of yielding to one Another;
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but as before, they continue altogether Selfish and Humoursom, craving to be pleased, but are at no pains to please those they are joined with. Such were mad to marry;
but as before, they continue altogether Selfish and Humoursome, craving to be pleased, but Are At no pains to please those they Are joined with. Such were mad to marry;
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and by marrying, they have entail'd both Guilt and Misery on themselves for Life.
and by marrying, they have entailed both Gilded and Misery on themselves for Life.
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The Man or Woman that marries, must resolve to deny themselves, to put off at least something of their own Humour,
The Man or Woman that Marries, must resolve to deny themselves, to put off At lest something of their own Humour,
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and to put on a ready Complaisance with others; otherwise they can never be happy:
and to put on a ready Complaisance with Others; otherwise they can never be happy:
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They must resolve by all means to seek to please and gratifie, tho with some restraint on their personal Inclinations and Constitutions.
They must resolve by all means to seek to please and gratify, though with Some restraint on their personal Inclinations and Constitutions.
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Nor on this Account should marriage be reckon'd a Slavery;
Nor on this Account should marriage be reckoned a Slavery;
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for this is no more than what common Conversation, and the engaging into any Society oblige one to:
for this is no more than what Common Conversation, and the engaging into any Society oblige one to:
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He should be debarred all Company, and excluded all Society, that requires every body to humour and yield to him, without suitable returns;
He should be debarred all Company, and excluded all Society, that requires every body to humour and yield to him, without suitable returns;
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they do not understand either Honour, Liberty, or reasonable Satisfaction, who are uneasie with the Obligation of pleasing and gratifying others.
they do not understand either Honour, Liberty, or reasonable Satisfaction, who Are uneasy with the Obligation of pleasing and gratifying Others.
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Certainly a Noble Soul and a generous Mind, will take more delight in the Occasions and Opportunities of doing a Pleasure to others,
Certainly a Noble Soul and a generous Mind, will take more delight in the Occasions and Opportunities of doing a Pleasure to Others,
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than in the Services paid to themselves.
than in the Services paid to themselves.
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Man and Wife may reason together, but should never scold and rail, nor use contemptuous Speeches.
Man and Wife may reason together, but should never scold and rail, nor use contemptuous Speeches.
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Persons have often occasion of being angry with themselves, and so there may happen just Occasions for both Man and Wife their shewing some displeasure with each other;
Persons have often occasion of being angry with themselves, and so there may happen just Occasions for both Man and Wife their showing Some displeasure with each other;
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but it can never be just to do it, to the breach of Peace and Love.
but it can never be just to do it, to the breach of Peace and Love.
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They must not divide and quarrel, however they may reason, except in cases where true Honour, Conscience ▪ Religion,
They must not divide and quarrel, however they may reason, except in cases where true Honour, Conscience ▪ Religion,
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and the Cause of God do interpose. God must be pleased above all, He must be preferr'd to Husband or Wife;
and the Cause of God do interpose. God must be pleased above all, He must be preferred to Husband or Wife;
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but if nothing be requir'd which displeaseth God, any thing should be done, rather than suffer a Breach;
but if nothing be required which displeaseth God, any thing should be done, rather than suffer a Breach;
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for better any Inconvenience than that.
for better any Inconvenience than that.
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Husband and Wife should endeavour all that is possible to make one another easie, by mutual pleasing:
Husband and Wife should endeavour all that is possible to make one Another easy, by mutual pleasing:
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This is both their Duty and their Interest; for it is one end of the Institution.
This is both their Duty and their Interest; for it is one end of the Institution.
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They are neither wise nor virtuous, who contend and •ar for small and trivial Things, and commonly the Ruptures betwixt married Persons, are only for such Things:
They Are neither wise nor virtuous, who contend and •ar for small and trivial Things, and commonly the Ruptures betwixt married Persons, Are only for such Things:
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For the generality of Mankind let their Passions master their Reason, and are so foolishly fond of their Humours,
For the generality of Mankind let their Passion master their Reason, and Are so foolishly found of their Humours,
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as for them to quit their Interest.
as for them to quit their Interest.
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There is a most remarkable Instance of this in the History of Peru; which shews the extravagancy and mischief of Humour and Passion, when not curbed.
There is a most remarkable Instance of this in the History of Peru; which shows the extravagancy and mischief of Humour and Passion, when not curbed.
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There was one by the misfortune of Shipwreck cast upon a barren desolate Rock, where there was neither Man nor Beast,
There was one by the misfortune of Shipwreck cast upon a barren desolate Rock, where there was neither Man nor Beast,
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nor shelter against Wind or Weather: In this miserable place he lived two Years; and then Providence sent thither in the like manner another.
nor shelter against Wind or Weather: In this miserable place he lived two years; and then Providence sent thither in the like manner Another.
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The Comfort of a Companion was certainly most valuable, and the only mitigation of that miserable Condition.
The Comfort of a Companion was Certainly most valuable, and the only mitigation of that miserable Condition.
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If they had united heartily, there might be some abatement of it;
If they had united heartily, there might be Some abatement of it;
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but they soon quarrel'd for some small matter, and their Difference grew to that height, that they parted,
but they soon quarreled for Some small matter, and their Difference grew to that height, that they parted,
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and lived at the distance of the Rock from one another ▪ neither, for the space of Seven Years,
and lived At the distance of the Rock from one Another ▪ neither, for the Molle of Seven years,
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if I can remember right, spoke together, or saw one another:
if I can Remember right, spoke together, or saw one Another:
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So, out of crossness of Humour, they derpived themselves of the Comfort and Advantage which Conversation and mutual Concurrence and Assistance might have given ▪ This is a Parallel of that Man and Woman, who through Providence are tied for Life by the Bond of marriage,
So, out of crossness of Humour, they derpived themselves of the Comfort and Advantage which Conversation and mutual Concurrence and Assistance might have given ▪ This is a Parallel of that Man and Woman, who through Providence Are tied for Life by the Bound of marriage,
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but so little wise for themselves; that rather than forego their peevish and pettish Humours; they chuse to throw up their Comforts, and to make their Condition more miserable.
but so little wise for themselves; that rather than forego their peevish and pettish Humours; they choose to throw up their Comforts, and to make their Condition more miserable.
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As the studying to please to the utmost is incumbent on married Persons, so for this Cause Love is required and absolutely necessary.
As the studying to please to the utmost is incumbent on married Persons, so for this Cause Love is required and absolutely necessary.
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It is hard to study to please those who are not well liked. Where there is Love, there is a forwardness to please;
It is hard to study to please those who Are not well liked. Where there is Love, there is a forwardness to please;
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but if Love be wanting, it is shifted or awkardly perform'd; therefore they who enter a married State should be brought into it by Love.
but if Love be wanting, it is shifted or awkardly performed; Therefore they who enter a married State should be brought into it by Love.
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Love should be the principal motive that brings them together; and while they are togegether, it should be their Care to cultivate and improve it,
Love should be the principal motive that brings them together; and while they Are together, it should be their Care to cultivate and improve it,
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If Love be wanting, they will be a grief and a burden to each other; but if Love abound, they have all Joy and Contentment.
If Love be wanting, they will be a grief and a burden to each other; but if Love abound, they have all Joy and Contentment.
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Where there is Love, they part with Reluctancy, and meet with Pleasure;
Where there is Love, they part with Reluctancy, and meet with Pleasure;
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their Hearts burn with Desires when absent, and if present they live joyfully together, as Solomon injoins.
their Hearts burn with Desires when absent, and if present they live joyfully together, as Solomon enjoins.
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Love will keep the Woman from gadding Abroad, and 'twill make the Man impatient to come home.
Love will keep the Woman from gadding Abroad, and it'll make the Man impatient to come home.
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St. Paul saith, That Love is the fulfilling of the Law, concerning our Neighbour; and so it may be said of the Duties of Marriage.
Saint Paul Says, That Love is the fulfilling of the Law, Concerning our Neighbour; and so it may be said of the Duties of Marriage.
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Love both teaches them, and prompts to the Observance of them:
Love both Teaches them, and prompts to the Observance of them:
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For all that is injoin'd Husband and Wife, are only proper Expressions and Declarations of true Love.
For all that is enjoined Husband and Wife, Are only proper Expressions and Declarations of true Love.
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He that loveth his Wife, will be far from abusing her, or treating her roughly; he will honour her himself, and endeavour to have her honour'd by others:
He that loves his Wife, will be Far from abusing her, or treating her roughly; he will honour her himself, and endeavour to have her honoured by Others:
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He will deal tenderly by her, and cherish her to the utmost of his power;
He will deal tenderly by her, and cherish her to the utmost of his power;
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he will not deny her the Satisfactions that are reasonable and in his power, but will be active and industrious to provide for her.
he will not deny her the Satisfactions that Are reasonable and in his power, but will be active and Industria to provide for her.
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And if the Man do this, the Woman must be unnatural, if she be not gained by it. The Wife must love too;
And if the Man do this, the Woman must be unnatural, if she be not gained by it. The Wife must love too;
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and if she love, nothing injoined will be grievous.
and if she love, nothing enjoined will be grievous.
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Obedience which sounds so hard and so harsh to self-willed and unthinking Woman, will not be unpleasant to her that loves:
obedience which sounds so hard and so harsh to self-willed and unthinking Woman, will not be unpleasant to her that loves:
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For Love is obsequious and observant, and is glad of the Occasions and Opportunities of testifying it.
For Love is obsequious and observant, and is glad of the Occasions and Opportunities of testifying it.
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The Obedience of the Wife is indispensible; but if there be Love, it will not be complain'd of.
The obedience of the Wife is indispensible; but if there be Love, it will not be complained of.
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By exacting Obedience, the Wife is not so hardly dealt with;
By exacting obedience, the Wife is not so hardly dealt with;
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for it is easier to obey than to command aright, and the Praise of Obedience may be due, where there is no Honour in Commanding.
for it is Easier to obey than to command aright, and the Praise of obedience may be due, where there is no Honour in Commanding.
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It is an express and often repeated Command of God, that the Woman be obedient,
It is an express and often repeated Command of God, that the Woman be obedient,
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and it becomes her to be so, even where the Man does not personally deserve it;
and it becomes her to be so, even where the Man does not personally deserve it;
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and then she shews her regard for God, which is her Praise; and for which she shall be surely rewarded. Finally:
and then she shows her regard for God, which is her Praise; and for which she shall be surely rewarded. Finally:
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To ensure and compleat the Happiness of a married State, both Husband and Wife must with all care mind Religion,
To ensure and complete the Happiness of a married State, both Husband and Wife must with all care mind Religion,
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and keep up the Fear of God between them. This is the surest way to prevent Miscarriages;
and keep up the fear of God between them. This is the Surest Way to prevent Miscarriages;
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to secure against all Ruptures, and to engage to the right and serious performance of all Things proper and necessary, to promote the Peace and Happiness of this State. Religion makes all Things sure;
to secure against all Ruptures, and to engage to the right and serious performance of all Things proper and necessary, to promote the Peace and Happiness of this State. Religion makes all Things sure;
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it ties the Knot harder, and makes both willing to bear the Yoke.
it ties the Knot harder, and makes both willing to bear the Yoke.
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If the true Fear of God possess the Heart of Man and Wife, neither of them shall go astray,
If the true fear of God possess the Heart of Man and Wife, neither of them shall go astray,
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nor be liable to the Rack of Jealousie: No uneasie Suspicions shall disturb their Breasts. They will not provoke, but cherish one another.
nor be liable to the Rack of Jealousy: No uneasy Suspicions shall disturb their Breasts. They will not provoke, but cherish one Another.
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They will be studious to please when out of Sight, as well as in it; and whether absent or present, will be equally Faithful.
They will be studious to please when out of Sighed, as well as in it; and whither absent or present, will be equally Faithful.
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Where the true Fear of God is, there will be no occasion for Exhortations and Persuasions,
Where the true fear of God is, there will be no occasion for Exhortations and Persuasions,
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for each will be forward to all Duty.
for each will be forward to all Duty.
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If Persons understood it, true Piety has the greatest Charms, nor do they fade with Age.
If Persons understood it, true Piety has the greatest Charms, nor do they fade with Age.
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And the greatest Contentment may be expected from a Religious Husband, and a Pious Wife.
And the greatest Contentment may be expected from a Religious Husband, and a Pious Wife.
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This is more to be valued, than all those Things which are now the common Motives to Marriage.
This is more to be valued, than all those Things which Are now the Common Motives to Marriage.
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This is better than Houses or Possessions, than Bags of Money, or Tuns of Gold. Favour, saith Solomon, is deceitful, and Beauty is vain;
This is better than Houses or Possessions, than Bags of Money, or Tons of Gold. Favour, Says Solomon, is deceitful, and Beauty is vain;
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but a Woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised, Prov. xxxi. 30. Besides, the Fear of God bringeth his Blessing, which contributes more to Peace and Happiness,but a Woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised, Curae xxxi. 30. Beside, the fear of God brings his Blessing, which contributes more to Peace and Happiness,
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than all our own Endeavours, or any outward or visible Means. Except the Lord build the House, they labour in vain that build it.
than all our own Endeavours, or any outward or visible Means. Except the Lord built the House, they labour in vain that built it.
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And as He buildeth the House, so He maketh them that are in it to be of one Mind.
And as He builds the House, so He makes them that Are in it to be of one Mind.
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All Blessings are promised to them that fear the Lord, and particularly those of a married State,
All Blessings Are promised to them that Fear the Lord, and particularly those of a married State,
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as you may see Psal. cxxxi.
as you may see Psalm cxxxi.
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Thus I have run through the Chief Things incumbent on Man and Wife, that they may reap the Good and Comfort of a married State.
Thus I have run through the Chief Things incumbent on Man and Wife, that they may reap the Good and Comfort of a married State.
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pray God that all concern'd may remember, consider and observe these Things, which would make the Church Glorious, the State Prosperous,
pray God that all concerned may Remember, Consider and observe these Things, which would make the Church Glorious, the State Prosperous,
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and increase the Peace of Families:
and increase the Peace of Families:
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This would make the present Generation happy, and would draw down and entail a Blessing on Posterity.
This would make the present Generation happy, and would draw down and entail a Blessing on Posterity.
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Now unto God, who is the Author of all Good, the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, be all Glory, Honour and Praise, now and for ever. Amen. FINIS.
Now unto God, who is the Author of all Good, the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, be all Glory, Honour and Praise, now and for ever. Amen. FINIS.
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